Apr 23 2007

Kazakhstan – You Drinking – Other People Driving

Category: Kazakh Driving,Kazakhstan,PersonalChrisM @ 7:14 pm

As I mentioned a couple of posts earlier, I found some friends hadn’t seen my original posts on life in Kazakhstan, so after tidying them up a bit for use as an article, I’ve decided to re-publish the two most popular Kazakhstan posts on this site.

Firstly, many thanks to those who commented on my last article (Kazakhstan – NOT Borat Land !!!). A few people noted that I had left out details of drinking and driving here in Kazakhstan. I should make clear that cars are NOT pulled by horses, despite how the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan portrays motor traffic.
If there is a chance you’ll be drinking, then it’s likely someone will want you to say a few words, when it comes to your turn in the toast making. You don’t need to be Over The Top, but DO make sure you thank your hosts for the meal/drink/their time (especially true if it is 4am, and they have work in 3 hours!). You can wax lyrical if you have enough to say, but don’t feel abashed at all if you just want to say something like: “First I’d like to thank Mr & Mrs Jones for their hospitality; I really appreciate your thoughts (assuming they mentioned you in their toast ;>). I hope to enjoy my stay here, and look forward to seeing this…. etc. etc.”

Back to driving. For those that ever sat in a car with me at the wheel, now is the time for you to admit it could have been so much worse… I’m glad to say that in the last 5 years of visits to, and now living in, Kazakhstan, I’ve only been in a car once, that has been crashed into, but if this is going to be your first time driving/being driven off the continent, just remember one thing – loud screams/whimpers will distract the driver, and therefore increase the likelihood of a mishap.

I wouldn’t say people are necessarily bad drivers over here; it is just that they operate on a different logic & reasoning plane to ‘Western’ drivers. If a driver is in a queue, wanting to turn at the next set of traffic lights, and is bored of waiting, then they’ll happily ‘create’ a new lane in the other direction’s stream of traffic. If the road has 3 lanes marked out with paint, in each direction, it is quite normal to find a total of 8 or 9 lanes of traffic.

Use of the horn – if the light has turned green and you’ve not moved for more than 0.5 of a second, people will gladly call your attention to this fact. The horn will definitely wear out quicker over here, at times it seems as though everyone should just learn Morse code; with so much honking from every direction, it is sometimes difficult to understand who is beeping at whom, and for what purpose.

There used to be a roundabout between our flat and the in-law’s house. It was always interesting watching people use it, for two reasons; 1) Roundabouts are relatively unique, in Astana at least, so people didn’t always seem to use them in the same way as other drivers also present, and 2) The rules aren’t the same as back in the UK; If a major road meets a roundabout, the people already ON the roundabout have to give way to others joining the melee from the major road. It worked so well, they’ve now converted that particular roundabout back to a normal junction. It does at least now have pedestrian crossings, so you can be more morally indignant if you get run over.

Zebra crossings are one way to bring a little adrenaline into your bloodstream. If you try and cross them as you would back home, you WILL end up having a heart attack. The best way to approach them seems to be to wait for the least amount of traffic to be approaching the crossing, and try to figure out which cars are actually likely to slow down, let alone stop, for you. Some drivers will beep to let you know that they have no intention of slowing down; others have actually switched lanes, seemingly to increase the chance of a bone vs. metal match up.

Every time someone important decides to travel somewhere in Astana, police will close down the roads the VIPs intend to use, and some 5 – 10 minutes later, you’ll see the President/Government Minister/Foreign Valued Businessman shoot past, in a cavalcade of Limos, Jeeps and/or Hummers and occasionally police motorcycle out-riders. Just because you are a pedestrian though, don’t assume this will have no impact; we’ve been waiting at a bus stop, next to a bus lay-by, and found ourselves moved BEHIND the bus shelter, for security reasons!

Moving onto the more positive aspects of motor vehicles in Kazakhstan; the buses and mini-buses, whilst not particularly able to stick to their timetable due to the recent explosion in traffic volume, they are dirt cheap, at least if you’re spending Western wages. The availability of taxis may not, at first, appear that great. Once you realise that a lot of ‘civilian’ drivers will happily stop and give you a lift for a quickly bartered fee, getting from one place to another seems a lot easier. HOWEVER, in the same way as hitch-hiking in the West, you DO need to be careful about personal safety. Don’t travel alone, and don’t get in the car if there is more than just the driver there. (Small children/grannies/granddads are possible exceptions). Basically, be aware of the situation you are placing yourself into.

If you want to read more about life in Kazakhstan, or ask questions, please do visit my blog at http://www.chrismerriman.com

Chris Merriman is a Brit now living in Astana, Kazakhstan. You can read his blog at ChrisMerriman.com

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Apr 23 2007

Kazakhstan – NOT Borat Land

Category: Kazakhstan,PersonalChrisM @ 6:46 pm

I wrote the original version of these articles when I first started this blog, last year.
Since then, some friends have asked what Kazakhstan is like, which makes me think they’ve not been delving into the older posts here.
Since originally writing it, I updated a few areas, mainly converting the currencies quoted from UK pounds sterling into US dollars, as I wanted to submit it as an article.
Anyway for those readers who came to this blog after I originally wrote it, here is the updated version…

I have written this article to help people who want to learn more about Kazakhstan. Whilst the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was funny, it did not paint anything like an accurate picture of this country. Some people want to learn more about Kazakhstan purely for their own education, others may be thinking of taking a vacation here. I moved to from Britain to Kazakhstan in April 2006, to Astana, where my wife’s parents live. Since then, I’ve learnt a lot, and seen many of my mis-conceptions blown away.

Things that may grab your attention whilst you’re over here:

Men nearly always shake hands upon meeting one another, even more so if it is the first time you’ve met. Women don’t. If they are family, there may be a peck on the cheek, or a quick embrace. This area is still a little fuzzy to me, so I just stand back and accept whatever comes my way :>

If someone thinks you look a little different to the accepted norm for a Russian or Kazakh person, they will simply stare at you. This shouldn’t be taken as an insult (or an invitation to get to know one another ;>). It is just if they want to get a good look, they won’t be subtle. People have different coping mechanisms for this behavioural trait. Some avert their eyes, others pretend not to notice. Still others will decide to turn it into a juvenile game. Whoever breaks the stare first loses, and you can keep a tally through the whole day you are out. Once you are up at the end of a day (18-3 for example), you can assume you’re no longer feeling like such a wimpy foreigner. Ummm, or so my friends tell me ;>

Whilst we may all joke about British manners and overly polite social standards, standing in line for something over here is an experience you’re not likely to forget very quickly. You’ll also be likely to quickly re-appraise your understanding of the term ‘line’ or ‘queue’. People will have no shame, nor should you, about pushing their way to the front of what could have been a perfectly civil and organized wait for the bus/ticket desk/shop assistant/train. I still draw the line at elderly/young people, other than that, its every queue jumper for themselves, ultimately. (This does tend to mean most elderly/young people get served/on the bus before me, but I have this thing against trampling over brittle bones/people smaller than me.)

Upon arrival/exiting the country, be it 8.30pm, 3.45am or 3pm, you’ll likely find yourselves being greeted with a small (OK, more likely a table laden with more stuff than you’d normally see for a ‘light’ meal) snack and some drinks, to celebrate your arrival/time in the country, if you are staying with people, rather than a hotel. You might not feel exactly like wolfing the whole lot down, but if you take your time, with the food and the drink, you should do fine. DON’T feel obliged to down shots of Cognac/Vodka each toast. Unless that’s your adjusting mechanism to the flights & time difference ;>

Bureaucracy – if you are on holiday, rather than emigrating, coming into and out of the country is the most likely area you’ll possibly encounter any problems. To be fair, we’ve not been stopped in a couple of years, but if they decide you look like a likely person to have violated a rule, there isn’t a great deal you can do about it. Coming into the country, they can decide not to let you in at all, and worse, leaving the country, they are only too well aware that you need to be available to get on a plane pretty soon.

Once you arrive in the country, you will need to register your presence, within 3 or 4 business days. There is nothing to worry about regarding this procedure; it is just so they can know who is officially registered where. Whilst this country is a lot ‘freer’ than it may have seemed to Westerners 15 or 20 years ago, you will have to remember that the approach taken by the government over here to maintain control of the population is not how we view ‘best practice’ in the West. Tough luck, their country, their rules, which, all in all, seems fair, if the roles were reversed, we’d not expect people to complain too excessively about our customs/social rules/laws.

Re. CDs/DVDs vs. portable hard drive. I’ve read around, and people have less difficulty taking hard drives out of the country than lots of discs, apparently. I couldn’t find any info on importing. Personally, I’ve never had a problem in either direction. There is apparently a rule, on your way out of the country, that if Customs discover discs in your luggage, they must have been previously inspected and sealed by a dept. elsewhere in Astana. You’ll need to do this four or five days before the flight. Some people stock up on cheap Software, Music and other media, though don’t forget your home country may not allow you to keep these items if they search your luggage on your return.

When in the country, you will see some people walking around in army camo fatigues, most of these people are manual labourers, who use them as hard-wearing clothes to work in. If, however, you see a group of 2-6 young men wandering in ‘urban’ colour camos (blue/purple), these are some sort of street patrollers. No idea on their legal/military/civilian status, I just make sure I’m not littering/jay-walking when I see them around :>

Then you have the regular police force, who you will see in cars (often using their PA systems as public education systems (’Drivers! Do not park here’ or ‘Move out the way NOW’)), on foot, or in little kiosks at key strategic civic points. The worst you can expect from them is a request to see your ID and/or passport.

There is also a traffic police force, who occasionally turn off the traffic lights, and get out their little wands to manually direct the traffic. Unless you intend to drive over here (don’t forget to apply for an International Driving License in the UK, if so), you can safely ignore them. Finally, you’ll occasionally see the Army guys marching round in unison, but they seem to stay off the streets for the majority of the time.

“So how much money should I bring?”
Well, not sure on total, but if I give you an idea of how much stuff costs here, you’ll be better informed to guess a holiday total I suppose… (All prices are approximate and sampled in Early 2007)

20 fags (Parliament) – $1.50
20 fags (Marlboro) – $1.00
20 fags (Russian smokable stuff) – $0.40

Bottle of coke in a shop – $0.50
Bottle of vodka in a shop – $1.60 to $8, depending on the brand (from drinkable to nice & smooth), whilst you can pay more, what’s the point?
Bottle of beer in a shop – $0.45 to $1.60 (Russian to European brands)

In a restaurant/cafe, fags, coke and beer maybe double the price, or there abouts, vodka costs approximately $4 for 200ml

PC Games/Applications/MP3 collections – $4 to $10, depending on the amount of discs in the box, and how obvious the copy is! Music CDs – About the same as American prices, normally

Taxi ride (real taxi) – $3 to $6 pounds for a 15 minute ride Taxi ride (flagging down a random car off the street) – haggle on the price, normally around 30% to 60% cheaper than a real taxi

Meal in a cafe (salad, meat dish, french fries, coke, vodka) – Between $8 and $15 per person, depending on the type of place you go to

Meal in a restaurant (same menu as above) – Between $12 and $30 pounds tops, per person. Again, you can spend more if you go high class

Obviously, if you want to get drunk, rather than merely relaxed, add more money for the extra vodka/soft drink/beer in the prices quoted above

Entrance fee to a club – $5 to $20 – basically, the more ‘exclusive’ an activity or brand is, the higher the price soars, prices for drinks in clubs are a little higher than elsewhere.

Kazakhstan is next door to China, so disposable electronic trinkets, that might last 5 years, or 5 days, are to be found in plenty of shops. If you want any ‘Kazakh’ souvenirs – cultural stuff, definitely bring along a little bit extra cash.

Re. Money – bring at least 100 euros or a little more in dollars, the rest is up to you – there are ATMs over here (don’t forget to budget for bank’s commission/charges for this service), and there are at least two places that we know of that will exchange English pounds sterling for Kazakh Tenge, and all currency exchanges obviously accept dollars.

I hope some of the above will give you an idea of what you can expect from Kazakhstan. If you want to read more, or ask a question, please feel free to visit my blog at http://www.chrismerriman.com

Chris Merriman is a Brit now living in Astana, Kazakhstan. You can read his blog at www.ChrisMerriman.com

So, any questions, or suggested corrections, do let me know, or if you’d prefer you can always e-mail me. See the Contacts page for applicable details.

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Mar 01 2007

ADSL arrived and We, The Undersigned Petition

Category: In The Media,Internet Connections,Kazakhstan,PersonalChrisM @ 2:13 am

Found a link to a UK Government beta web site that held a petition on the price of Windows Vista, compared to USA prices.
This next caught my eye – …..petition the Prime Minister to Recognize Borat As The Leader Of Kazakhstan (!)
This petition should be of interest to AlexC.
This petition will be of interest to John as it concerns proposed legislation on taking photos in a public place.
Here we have a petition that publicly funded (UK) software should be released under a free licence, so the whole nation may reap benefits.
This one came as news to me

Fingerprinting is being introduced in thousands of UK Primary Schools as part of a subsidised library package called Junior Librarian that they have purchased, encouraged by central government. New schools are joining the scheme at the rate of around 20 a week. To date, more than 3500 schools and nurseries (manufacturer’s official figure, given to the Daily Mirror) have fingerprinted and photographed 3/4 million children, ranging in age from 3 to 11; impressionable, trusting and naive. Involved companies have given premier partners with access to their SQL database AND a commercial arrangement for the reselling or endorsement or their products.
This is always done without explicit parental consent, and even in some cases, without parental knowledge.
Schools strongly resist sending parents the opt-in consent slips that are used for just about everything else. Some parents only find out AFTERWARDS

Finally, we have a petition for Seb & any other schmokers out there…

Oh yes, and we finally have ADSL installed at home. I’m going to have to use the internet LESS than I did on dial up, as we only get 700 megabytes per month (up AND download :< ), but it means I can do my work in the daytime, so I'm really chuffed that it has arrived.

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Nov 15 2006

Borat Gets A Beating

Category: In The Media,KazakhstanChrisM @ 12:44 pm

Many thanks to a poster at PPRuNe (Professional Pilots Rumour Network) who spotted the following Sun story – Borat spanked by angry Yank. What I found more amazing was that Hugh Laurie was Sasha’s knight in shining armour!

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Oct 27 2006

Reaching Bandwidth Limit

Category: PersonalChrisM @ 1:17 am

Looks like people were hard coding links to my BBC News Borat London Premier vid hosted on this site :< , rather than the original post, so I've removed the file, as I'm rapidly approaching the limit for this month (the video is still accessible from the first link though). If people read this message, and then can't access the site, it will return next Wednesday…

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Oct 26 2006

BBC World Report On the Borat film

Category: In The Media,Kazakhstan,Personal,VideosChrisM @ 11:02 am

This is a little video clip surrounding the London premiere of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

The audio isn’t perfect, as I had to raise the volume a little post-production, sorry. A reminder again, that FireFox users may experience a lack of audio/video synchronisation. Try viewing it in Internet Explorer for now.

Feel free to leave a note by clicking on the comments link below…

EDIT : If you find the first link to the video doesn’t work, please try This one instead. Thanks

EDIT2 : Wow, this page (well the alternative link for the vid) has suddenly eaten nearly all of my hosting bandwidth available for the rest of the month, so for now, it is the first link only. Leave a comment if people find problems with the first link, and I’ll try uploading it to youtube or something.

EDIT3 : Many months later I remembered to upload this to YouTube, so watch it all you like…

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