Sleeping On It

Tags: America, Asia, Europe

• SlyCrayon
  9:45 am on August 10th, 2008 1

  Now wait a minute, son, Murkans have had the fabled Bunk Bed forever. Even before mattresses, when all they had were Feather Beds for lying on, there were still beds stacked one or two high. Why, we thought Europeans had no bunk beds! When cowboys came in from a long day on the range and fell exhausted into their bunks, what do you suppose that meant? And in the 1940s and 1950s, when housing developers were mass producing little square houses with little rectangular rooms, how do you suppose they fit four kids into one bedroom in a two-bedroom house? Bunk Beds! What we do have now that we did not see twenty-five years ago is the “Euro-Bed,” which has a wider bottom mattress with a single mattress set above it. It is a bunk bed that allows an adult to sit on the edge without ducking his/her head below the upper bunk.

  Futons have been around for decades, but for the most part, only college students and visiting relatives have the misfortune of trying to sleep upon them. Before futons, the predominant “extra bed” was a Sofa Bed. While NEVER comfortable, because it was basically a hammock in a square metal frame and all occupants rolled to the lowest point in the middle, the Sofa Bed sat in the parlor and masqueraded as a divan or couch until bedtime. The cushions (often the most comfortable part of the Sofa Bed) were then removed and the mattress over the canvas which was fixed to the heavy metal frame unfolded out in three sections, dropping a third set of legs in the middle to support the sides. The Sofa Bed mattress never had springs inside. Small springs hooked into grommets connected the canvas to holes in the frame on three sides. Bed pillows then disappeared into the hole below the back of the sofa, where the bed was stored when folded. Its comfort was in proportion to cost, but even the most costly Sofa Bed was generally considered to be a sleeping disappointment. Purposefully, no doubt to discourage long stays by visiting relatives.

  Perhaps Innerspring Mattresses are no longer financially feasible in today’s Mattress Marketplace, Chris. These are what most Murkans still sleep on. The system relies upon a Bed Frame, i.e., a metal or wooden construct, which might or might not include a decorative Headboard and (optional) Footboard, to support the Box Spring. The Box Spring is a wooden frame with springs tied together inside for support, with a thick fabric covering the outside. The Box Spring is a relatively firm upholstered slab the same size and thickness as the Innerspring Mattress, which is laid upon it. Innerspring mattresses are more pliant, less rigid than the box spring, and are constructed of metal springs tied together in various means for support, according to the manufacturer. Layers of foam are quilted together to cover the hardness of the springs, with varying degrees of success, usually in direct proportion to cost. And thick fabric is used to cover the mattress. The American Bed was and still remains, the preferred indoor home trampoline. But we sleep on them. We cover the Mattress with a Fitted Sheet, which clings to the corners. A special folding and tucking technique is required to keep a Flat Sheet in place upon the mattress. Many years ago, there were only Flat Sheets. As the skill of tucking the corners was forgotten by the people, the Fitted Sheet emerged. The Flat Sheet is usually tucked in at the bottom and covers the Sleeper, who lies upon the Fitted Sheet. The blanket is placed over the flat sheet and under the Bedspread. Blankets are optional in the summer.

  Not to confuse the issue, but bed sizes include, but are not limited to, Twin, Double, Queen, King and California King. Except for Waterbeds (we know you have waterbeds in Europe, because we slept in one), which usually go from Twin (rare) directly to Queen and King. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of a California King-sized Waterbed, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Waterbeds started out as big pillows of heavy plastic filled with water from a garden hose and evolved in so many directions that they would require an essay of their own.

  My guess would be that, the cost of skilled hand labor to tie the springs with strings, or to assemble individual strings in cocoons of fabric, and then anchor springs to the mattress frame and secure it all with a brocade fabric cover, when added to all that layering and quilting probably were what put the cost of mattresses through the roof. Then a decade or more ago, with the emergence of the “Pillow-Top” Mattress, which features an extra duvet sort of thing affixed on top of the Innerspring Mattress, that was it. The dilemma presented itself: should we buy a new bed or a used car instead?

  People started throwing bare mattresses on the floor, but one supposes that a platform started to look good when it became a problem keeping Rover the family dog off the mattress on the floor. But your kids will never bounce in the air after jumping on a platform bed. And if you kneel on the mattress and feel the platform beneath, well, erm, pretend you are camping out.

• ChrisM
  4:32 pm on August 10th, 2008 2

  wow
  thats got to be one of the longest comments on this blog ever…

  Thank you for the detailed reply to the post - though I’m curious as to why these two particular posts caught your attention?

 

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